Remembering the Day I Broke Up With God

Overcoming Trauma to Discover the True Meaning of God

Melanie J.
6 min readSep 11, 2021


/Image by GLady from Pixabay

Twenty years ago, on September 12th, 2001, I broke up with God. After years of questioning His very existence, I finally had the overwhelming desire to remove God from my life once and for all. On September 11th, 2001, I believed that He failed the American people because in my disillusioned and emotionally damaged state, I saw no evidence of God on that day.

I remember the exact day I broke up with God because it was the day after the tragedy of 9/11, when the World Trade Centers collapsed after being hit by 2 commercial airplanes. I experienced the most life changing trauma in my adulthood. On 9/12, as I laid in bed terrified and fighting back tears, I felt suffocated from the immense pain while my heart broke into a million pieces, and the light from my soul failed to illuminate my path during the darkness.

On 9/11/01, I lost someone dear to me, she was an angel gone too soon, and that pain was beyond anything that I could ever fathom. Sitting here typing these words my eyes are filled with tears because I am not sure if I have completely made peace with everything that happened on that dreadful day.

There are certain life changing events that unfold during the course of our lives, where we can vividly recall the exact moment of those events. September 11th, 2001 will forever remain that event for me.

On that Tuesday morning, I arrived to work late, and a few of my coworkers were gathered together discussing a plane that had hit a building, and for some reason, I did not engage in the conversation. Instead, I smiled politely, said good morning, and headed to my office. This was my first professional job after I graduated from college, and I was still new to this company, therefore I made it my business to maintain a low profile. So, standing around chatting was not yet part of my morning routine, but I digress.

After a few minutes while in the middle of getting settled to start my day, Sharon, the Administrative Assistant, came over and asked, “did you hear what happened in New York City?” and at that point, I hadn’t heard anything.

I replied, “no what happened?” Then she proceeded to tell me that a plane hit the…



Melanie J.

Writer with a deep passion to spread positivity, inspired by the flow of nature. Email: